the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
