the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
