I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
