Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
