I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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