He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Randomize
