And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
