so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I could fuck to npr.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize
