We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
