I think my fart just growled at me.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
