Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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