I want to walk on stilts...naked
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
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