i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
When are your genitals available?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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