Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
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