dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
My feet surprised me
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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