Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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