Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Randomize
