we have pet lesbian snakes
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can't turn off my feet"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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