Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
She even gives head with a lisp.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
