he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
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