I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
