My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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