worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
