I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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