your thong is hanging out like whoa
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
Randomize
