All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
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