Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
