Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
