Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
this is an emotional support booty call
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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