That's when you crack a 10am beer
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
