The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
