i don't like sucking hair
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
