I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
it's like heaven, but drunker
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
