I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
