he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
