oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
