I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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