Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Randomize
