Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
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