god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I think people are normalizing furries
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
