im gay
i know
yea but for you.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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