Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
