but the lizard people decide everything anyway
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
