My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
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