this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Everyone says I win the strip club
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
