The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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