well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
operation have a gay friend backfired
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
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