found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I have tasted many bathrooms
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
