I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
