Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
