All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
