Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I need to stop coming to work sober
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
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